Glow Tanned

Alice Smellie says….


March is a mixed month. For every daffodil that does its stuff, there’s a day of torrential rain or a blast of freezing wind. It is also the time of year when your body is peak pallid after months of confinement in woolly jumpers. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror after a bath yesterday and momentarily thought the house was haunted. So my top beauty tip for this time of year is to fake tan your body from top to toe.

Seriously. First of all, when you rub product up and down your naked body you’ll realise that the whole thing is far nicer than you realised, and giving it a splosh of colour makes anyone feel healthier even when fully clothed. Those little bits of tanned flesh poking out of sleeves and necklines will remind you of summer. Most importantly, tanned skin looks more toned, thus lessening any feelings of early spring ‘must go to the gym’ panic.

I’m not talking going the full TOWIE, by the way. Don’t turn yourself orange, which I’ve done on many an occasion, and glowed brightly like a pumpkin in the dull grey light of a school morning. I mean a light, healthy colour, so your face doesn’t match the last vestiges of snow.

I’ve always been a fan of coloured mousses, which allow you to see where errors may occur, as well as gradual moisturising tans where errors simply appear as faint shadows, but it’s only recently that I’ve embraced the concept of the tanning mitt – which allows you to rub in thoroughly without the shame of brown fingers. And at the end of last year I came across the genius concept which is the tanning roller, a sponge roller with a handle.

Advanced and expert tanners can create abs with fake tan, but I’ve never bothered trying. However, the roller is so effective that you can easily create bikini lines (to give a ‘went to the Maldives’ appearance). Once brown, you’ll be brimming with self love and admiration*. Glow forth and bring on the spring.

*Not really. Less pasty.


THE NERVOUS TANNER: St Tropez Gradual Tan Mousse, £14.50,
THE GRADUAL TAN: Fake Bake Gradual Self Tan Lotion, £24.95,
EASY APPLICATION: Bondi Sands Self tanning Foam Light/Medium, £14.99,
MOISTURISING TAN: Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Natural Bronze Tan Lotion, £5.69,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *